It seems like the fanfare of the New Year 2012 has settled in and it is back to the same grind, for many of you. Especially the daily grind of Facebook. The rules are confusing and are constantly changing. Just about the time you think you have Facebook mastered, they pull the rug out from under your feet and you have to break in a whole new system—uh-gin! Making a proper friend request is no doubt the same, since there are a couple of annoyances that Facebook still needs to improve if they want to go about throwing many changes at us. A peripheral rant there.

However, getting penalized from Facebook for not knowing how to make a proper friend request is not good for business or camaraderie among your Facebook friends. It is a definite party-killer and there is a way to turn that around.

It is a given that you would review the profile of any potential friend that you want to connect with on Facebook. When you do, make sure that you find something of true common interest and send a message accordingly. For instance, if you see on a potential friend’s info tab that they like, “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle, then send a message that says something to the effect of the following:

“Hi Jane,
I see that you like “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and I thought it was an excellent read.
If I may, I would love to know any perspective and enlightenment you have gained from reading this
awesome book.

This is a friend request. Let’s connect.
Yours,
Jae Smith”

Most of the time, when your potential friend see that you took the time to learn a little factoid about them, they are not going to report you to the Facebook gods or block you. They will more than likely take pleasure in chatting with you about something that they love to talk about.

This is not a segue into offering your widgets, biz opps or services. If subject comes up, great. If not, take a genuine interest in getting to know your new friend and also, make sure you put yourself out there and let them get to know you too. Post, “like” and interact with your friends. Don’t make the mistake of posting your link on their wall. Make sure that if you do post on a friend’s wall, it is something to edify everyone that is in the same collective friend base.

Cordial courtesy goes a long way. It shows that you are professional, that you know what you are doing and that you abide by the Golden Rules. If you are on Facebook for business, friendship and trust are the two components that you have to implement daily. Demonstrate your area of expertise by writing notes or making effective posts. Talk to your friends regularly and build a relationship with them. Don’t make the mistake of “over branding” yourself or your company. People rarely respond when everything you post is about business. People are at a social event. Let’s partay! Show something cute that your little one did. Show pictures of your travels or post something that is meaningful to you and others. Mix business in every once in a while to keep the party on an even keel.

Another aspect is the numbers. People are fascinated by big numbers. I learned that having 5056 friends on Facebook means nothing if those friends are not interactive with your posts. Even worse, they are responding the wrong way or inappropriately once again, demonstrating no interest in what you are doing.

There is a quota of 5000 friends that any Facebook account is allowed to reach. Sometimes, you can make it just under and Facebook won’t allow requests to be accepted. You can even surpass that quota a slight bit if you make a friend request yourself while no one can make a request of you. Whatever ceiling the Facebook gods decide to halt you at, each space of that quota is precious, so why remain connected to that friend if they are not showing interest in what you are doing?

Working on building rapport is what will lead to the conversions that you want for your business. There is no silver bullet. It takes time with consistency and practice. Make sure you get rid of the dead weight of no activity and replace those precious spots with people who are interested in talking to you through the cause of their activity. That is how trust is born. That is how business grows. That’s how conversions are made.

When you have everyone’s consensus in what you are doing while providing something of value to them, your numbers will grow steadily and you will see the kind of results you want.

Finally, if you want to make a friend request and you see that their Facebook account is completely under guard “Fort Knox-style,” don’t touch it with a 10-foot pole. There is a reason that potential friend doesn’t want to be petitioned for a request. When you see accounts under lock and key, that’s a significant clue not to disturb. If you get a warning that says, “Do not send a friend request unless you know this person.” Detour and get a potential friend who wants to be your friend. If you continue to pursue, you are better off sending a message to your ivory tower potential friend rather than sending a friend request, that is, if it is possible or permissible.

Although it is safe to request 20-30 friends per day on Facebook, I say fly under the radar and make 10-15 friend requests per day. Caution is the goal here. Violating the terms of Facebook is a sure way to end up opening another Facebook account and having to start all over again.

Making connections is easy. It’s a matter of propriety, finesse and knowing interpersonal communication.

Toast to your success!

Jae Smith

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